What's in a Name? Why PHOENIX?
It's funny...leading up to my 36th birthday, there were some interesting things happening in my life. I began to feel more focused than I already was, but my desire to do more, give more, and help more people was almost overwhelming.
It was a few weeks before my birthday, it was the beginning of the year, things were picking up, business was busy, we had just moved to our new place, and honestly we were just mentally exhausted. Arin decided that she wanted to surprise me with a trip to Vegas. Instead, I decided that it would be a good idea to invite a few people with us. It was that moment when I realized something in me had truly shifted because I felt really compelled to take at least 2 people that by society's standard didn't deserve to have anything handed to them.
Needless to say, I did exactly what I was supposed to do. I ended up paying for myself, Arin, and 9 other people to fly and stay into Las Vegas and stay at the Palazzo for what was supposed to be 4 days. On top of that, my ex-business partner that lived out of state had paid for 2 people that were working with us to go as well. For years my business partner had always referred to me as Breezy, which in turn caused the others to refer to me as such.
It's important that I focus on this trip, because I feel that is where the transition from Breezy to PHOENIX began. Vegas was supposed to be my celebration, my getaway, but instead it was...let's just an experience.
For me, this trip was less about my birthday and more about being in a position to do a few things:
Give a few deserving people a getaway.
Give a few people a new idea of what exists outside of their normal worlds.
Meet a few people face to face for the 1st time.
I tried to start this trip on a good note. I ensured that everyone had a little bit of money to spend on the first night. After all, I did invite them.
From the time that we arrived to the time that we left, there were good times and there were challenges. Overall, I managed to keep a level head although there are times when I may have wanted to shake a few people or maybe even scream.
Our last day in Vegas was spent horseback riding. It was very much so needed. I hadn't been on a horse in ages and had forgotten how relaxing it was. I had no idea that the decompression that I experienced would be short lived. I was awaken by a phone call from one of the people on trip with us. They had called crying and apologizing letting me know that they were sorry, but some things has transpired in the hours leading up to the call that caused the shower door as well as their heart to be shattered. I spent the rest of the day just trying to keep everything calm. Eventually, all of us, even the ones from out of state made it back to Austin.
From my perspective, although Vegas turn into a missed flight home, 2 extra days, and a shattered shower door all at my expense and resolution, but not through my own fault, Vegas was a success. Everything that I set out to accomplish was accomplished.
I spent the next 3 days spending time with my ex-business partner and the 3 people that were working with us at the time. We spent time working, driving around the city, and honestly just getting to know each other a little better as I had only been in communication with the 3 people via video chat prior to meeting them in Vegas. I said that to say, I typically do not invite people that I have not known long into my home, so the fact that I was even comfortable staying in our home around our children was a change for me. I felt that they were supposed to be there.
Arin, the kids, and myself really enjoyed getting to know our new friends Bruno, Jenny, and Alexa. I particularly got to spend a lot of time with Jenny and Bruno. They were so helpful around our house as well, especially being that we had only been in our new spot a little over a week before the trip.
When the new crew took off to head back to their homes, it was a bittersweet experience. About a week after they were gone, I received a call from Jenny. She said...
Breezy, something strange has happened to me since meeting you. It is very weird. When we were in Vegas you were very kind to me. I have to be honest with you. When we were in Vegas you said things to me that were very accurate and no one even knows about those things. I keep them to myself. You didn't judge me and you were very selfless and sent me to have a day of relaxation at the spa and the trip was supposed to be about you. I have never experienced the level of comfort you and Arin gave to me when I was in your home. I have been friends with my best friend for 25 years, and I even look forward to going to home when I am visiting her. I was so sad to leave you guys. Breezy, I don't know what is going on. It is like ever since I returned home, I haven't been able to be around anything negative. i can't really explain it to you, but it's like I don't even want to argue with my husband. It's not even that I am trying to change, it's just happening.
This call let me know that I hear God's voice clearly. We left for the Vegas trip on March 15th. On my birthday, March 10th, I heard God tell me...
You are PHOENIX!
I remember sharing this with my mom a few days after I was able to process it. The PHOENIX is a mythical bird that is said to be consumed by fire and rebirth out of is ashes to rise again and soar! In that moment, on the call with Jenny, I knew and understood that God was calling me forward to help others rise from their philosophical ashes. I had no idea how, but as the months have passed, I have been placed in the position to help people begin to shift their mindset and find their inner PHOENIX.